What Do Colleges Want From A Personal Essay

Research Paper 12.10.2019

I find the research of Dr.

Think about the mall Santa example above. The essay won't work unless the writer genuinely acknowledges that he was a bad Santa and explains why. Want to build the best possible college application? We can help. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League. We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools. Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in. Even this little kid is a better Santa than Will was. Can you express your ideas clearly and concisely? These kinds of skills will serve you well in college and in life! Nonetheless, admissions officers recognize that different students have different strengths. Honestly, they aren't expecting a masterwork from anyone, but the basic point stands. Focus on making sure that your thoughts and personality come through, and don't worry about using fancy vocabulary or complex rhetorical devices. Above all, make sure that you have zero grammar or spelling errors. Typos indicate carelessness, which will hurt your cause with admissions officers. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now : Top 5 Essay-Writing Tips Now that you have a sense of what colleges are looking for, let's talk about how you can put this new knowledge into practice as you approach your own essay. Below, I've collected my five best tips from years as a college essay counselor. One of the most important parts of the essay writing process is editing, and editing takes a lot of time. You want to be able to put your draft in a drawer for a week and come back to it with fresh eyes. You don't want to be stuck with an essay you don't really like because you have to submit your application tomorrow. A narrowly focused essay will be much more effective than a general, vague one. You should take the time to read and re-read the essay prompt, so you can answer it fully. However, you must demonstrate that you can read and follow directions. Think of that great pile of applications. The admissions officers are looking for a reason to disregard candidates. On the other hand, the prompt is designed to give you some freedom for creativity, which will allow you to work in those three or four key ideas that you have developed through tips 1 through 4. You are encouraged to find novel ways of answering the prompt, so long as you do indeed answer the questions provided. If you need more help choosing a topic , you can find some tips on our Choosing a Topic for Your College Essay page. Section 2: Writing Your Essay At this stage in the college admissions essay writing process, you have considered the goals and psychology of the college admissions board. Now it is time to actually write the essay. Tip 6: Write with Specific Details The key to excellent and memorable writing is to write in fine detail. The more specific your essay, the stronger an impression it will make on the admissions board. Does it reveal something about the applicant? No repeats. What you write in your application essay or personal statement should not contradict any other part of your application—nor should it repeat it. This isn't the place to list your awards or discuss your grades or test scores. Answer the question being asked. Don't reuse an answer to a similar question from another application. Example: "Sharing intellectual interests is an important aspect of university life. Describe an experience or idea that you find intellectually exciting, and explain why. Danger: Some students may take the "creative" aspect of the question as license to be obscure, pretentious or undisciplined in their writing. Counselor tips Emphasize to students the importance of writing an informed essay. Advise students to use common sense "creative" doesn't mean eccentric or self-indulgent. Warn students not to write about high-minded topics or exotic locales simply to impress the reader. I know from personal experience that in order to achieve the trust, honesty, and success that State University values, new people are needed to create a respectful environment for these values. And that, truly, is the greatest success I can imagine. This emphasis on diversity can also be found in the variety of specialized departments found at State University. On top of its growing cultural and ethnic diversity, State University is becoming a master at creating a niche for every student. However, this does not isolate students by forcing them to work with only those individuals who follow their specific discipline. Instead, it is the seamless interaction between facilities that allows each department, from engineering to programming, to create a real learning environment that profoundly mimics the real world. Thus, State University is not just the perfect place for me, it is the only place for me. Indeed, having the intellectual keenness to absorb every ounce of knowledge presented through my time in the IB program, I know that I can contribute to State University as it continues to cultivate a scholarly climate that encourages intellectual curiosity. In a department where education and research are intermixed, I can continue to follow the path that towards scientific excellence. Long-mesmerized by hobbies like my work with the FIRST Robotics team, I believe State University would be the best choice to continue to nurture my love for electrical and computer engineering. I have only scratched the surface in this ever evolving field but know that the technological potential is limitless. Likewise, I feel that my time at State University would make my potential similarly limitless. This is a picture-perfect response to a university-specific essay prompt. What makes it particularly effective is not just its cohesive structure and elegant style but also the level of details the author uses in the response. By directly identifying the specific aspects of the university that are attractive to the writer, the writer is able to clearly and effectively show not only his commitment to his studies but — perhaps more importantly — the level of thought he put into his decision to apply. Review committees know what generic responses look like so specificity sells. College Essay Two Prompt: What motivates you? For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of science. But when I began homeschooling, everything changed. I wrote page papers on subjects from Ancient Sparta and military history to the founding of the United States and the resounding impact of slavery. I discovered more than I ever had, kindling a lifelong joy for learning. While high school offered welcome academic opportunities--studying two languages and taking early science APs chief among them--the social environment was a different beast. Many classmates considered me more a little brother than a true friend, and my age and laser focus on academics initially made me socially inept. Oftentimes, I secretly wished I was normal age. That secret desire manifested itself in different ways. I had grown up obsessively tracking my New England Patriots. Now, instead of armchair quarterbacking, I poured hours into throwing mechanics and studying film after my homework each night. But in the rush to change, my attitude towards academics shifted; I came to regard learning as more a job than a joy. That view held sway until a conversation with my friend Alex, the fastest receiver on the team. As I told him I wished we could switch places so I could succeed on the gridiron, he stared incredulously. Instead of playing sports, I recognized, I should coach them. My goal to coach professionally has already helped me embrace the academic side of the game--my side--rather than sidelining it. Academically, that change re-inspired me. Able to express my full personality without social pressure, I rededicated myself in the classroom and my community. I still secretly wish to be Tom Brady. I spent hours watching birds fly, noting how the angle of their wings affected the trajectory of their flight. I would then waste tons of fresh printer paper, much to the dismay of my parents, to test out various wing types by constructing paper airplanes. One day, this obsession reached its fever pitch. I decided to fly. I built a plane out of a wooden clothes rack and blankets, with trash bags as precautionary parachutes. After being in the air for a solid second, the world came crashing around me as I slammed onto the bed, sending shards of wood flying everywhere. Why did hitting something soft break my frame? As I grew older, my intrinsic drive to discover why stimulated a desire to solve problems, allowing my singular passion of flying to evolve into a deep-seated love of engineering. I began to challenge myself academically, taking the hardest STEM classes offered. Not only did this allow me to complete all possible science and math courses by the end of my junior year, but it also surrounded me with the smartest kids of the grades above me, allowing me access to the advanced research they were working on. As such, I developed an innate understanding of topics such as protein function in the brain and differential equation modeling early in high school, helping me develop a strong science and math foundation to supplement my passion for engineering. I sought to make design collaborative, not limited to the ideas of one person. Most of all, I sought to solve problems that impact the real world. Inspired by the water crisis in India, I developed a water purification system that combines carbon nanotube filters with shock electrodialysis to both desalinate and purify water more efficiently and cost-effectively than conventional plants. The project received 1st Honors at the Georgia Science Fair. Working on these two projects, I saw the raw power of engineering — an abstract idea gradually becoming reality. I was spending most of my days understanding the why behind things, while also discovering solutions to prevalent issues. Thirteen years have passed since that maiden flight, and I have yet to crack physical human flight. My five-year-old self would have seen this as a colossal failure. But the intense curiosity that I found in myself that day is still with me.

Think of that great pile of applications. Again, a sentence or two should be enough to accomplish this goal.

Mom survived, but I would never forget visiting her at the ward or the complete confusion I felt about her attempt to end her life. Today I realize that this experience greatly influenced my professional ambition as well as my personal identity. While early on my professional ambitions were aimed towards the mental health field, later experiences have redirected me towards a career in academia. I come from a small, economically depressed town in Northern Wisconson. Many people in this former mining town do not graduate high school and for them college is an idealistic concept, not a reality. Neither of my parents attended college. Feelings of being trapped in a stagnant environment permeated my mind, and yet I knew I had to graduate high school; I had to get out. Although most of my friends and family did not understand my ambitions, I knew I wanted to make a difference and used their doubt as motivation to press through. Four days after I graduated high school, I joined the U. The 4 years I spent in the Army cultivated a deep-seated passion for serving society. While in the Army, I had the great honor to serve with several men and women who, like me, fought to make a difference in the world. During my tour of duty, I witnessed several shipmates suffer from various mental aliments. Driven by a commitment to serve and a desire to understand the foundations of psychological illness, I decided to return to school to study psychology. In order to pay for school and continue being active in the community, I enlisted in the Texas Army National Guard as a Medic. Due to the increased deployment schedule and demands placed on all branches of the military after September 11, my attendance in school has necessarily come second to my commitment to the military. There are various semesters where, due to this demand, I attended school less than full time. Despite taking a long time and the difficulty in carving separate time for school with such occupational requirements, I remained persistent aiming towards attending school as my schedule would allow. My military commitment ends this July and will no longer complicate my academic pursuits. So, in writing your college application essays, you should write with the following features in mind: Write primarily in complex sentences, rather than simple or compound sentences; Include figurative language such as a metaphor, a simile, personification; and Include a trope or scheme, such as chiasmus, oxymoron or anaphora. As with tip 7 , this serves two functions: 1 it distinguishes your essay from those that are poorly written; and 2 it reassures the admissions board of your excellent command of written English. For this reason, you should ask a friend or a relative or an English teacher to look over your essay and check your: Grammar: did you write in complete sentences? Do all your subjects and verbs agree? Diction: are all the words used properly for an American audience? Organization: have you grouped sentences together coherently? Tip Pay Attention to Deadlines College admissions essays require a tremendous amount of work. As you work and rework the essay, pay attention to the admission deadlines and requirements. Every school has their own system for how and when to file your application. Do not assume that, because one school uses e-mails and PDFs, that another school does as well. The best way to stay organized through the college admissions process and at the university when courses begin is to rigorously maintain a calendar that includes: Final deadlines Process deadlines breaking larger tasks into smaller steps Bonus Tip: Post, but Don't Panic At some point, you will file your college admissions application. With these tips, and your determined intellect, you have an excellent chance of being accepted to an American university. It may sound like a chore, and it will certainly take a substantial amount of work. But it's also a unique opportunity that can make a difference at decision time. Admissions committees put the most weight on your high school grades and your test scores. However, selective colleges receive applications from many worthy students with similar scores and grades—too many to admit. Telling Your Story to Colleges So what does set you apart? You have a unique background, interests and personality. Danger: Any factual errors in the essay will reveal that the student really hasn't thought deeply about the choice. An upside to this type of question is that while working on the essay, the student might realize that the college is not a good match — and it's better to know that sooner than later. Counselor tips Advise students to make absolutely sure they know their subject well. Warn students not to go overboard with flattery. They should sound sincere but not ingratiating. Example: "Sharing intellectual interests is an important aspect of university life. There are a couple of reasons that colleges ask applicants to submit an essay, but the basic idea is that it gives them more information about you, especially who you are beyond grades and test scores. Are you inquisitive? These kinds of qualities will have a profound impact on your college experience, but they're hard to determine based on a high school transcript. Basically, the essay contextualizes your application and shows what kind of person you are outside of your grades and test scores. Imagine two students, Jane and Tim: they both have 3. Jane writes about how looking into her family history for a school project made her realize how the discovery of modern medical treatments like antibiotics and vaccines had changed the world and drove her to pursue a career as a medical researcher. Tim, on the other hand, recounts a story about how a kind doctor helped him overcome his fear of needles, an interaction that reminded him of the value of empathy and inspired him to become a family practitioner. These two students may seem outwardly similar but their motivations and personalities are very different. Without an essay, your application is essentially a series of numbers: a GPA, SAT scores, the number of hours spent preparing for quiz bowl competitions. The personal statement is your chance to stand out as an individual. That said, don't panic if you aren't a strong writer. Admissions officers aren't expecting you to write like Joan Didion; they just want to see that you can express your ideas clearly. No matter what, your essay should absolutely not include any errors or typos. Did your grades drop sophomore year because you were dealing with a family emergency? Colleges want to know if you struggled with a serious issue that affected your high school record, so make sure to indicate any relevant circumstances on your application. In asking these questions, admissions officers are trying to determine if you're genuinely excited about the school and whether you're likely to attend if accepted. I'll talk more about this type of essay below. Want to write the perfect college application essay? Get professional help from PrepScholar. Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges. Don't leave your college application to chance. It reveals whether or not you are able to bring something new to a discussion. Anyone can use internet based sources or received opinion as the basis of their research, but you can truly dazzle the admissions committee by bring an unusual perspective to a tired subject. Your clarity of thought. This comes through in the content of your essay. Your powers of reasoning and analysis.

It is important to retain your own unique voice without giving in to the temptation to use flowery language and tiresome jargon. College Essay Three College Essay One Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen State University and from what major sdepartment s or program s.

They want students who will: Succeed once they are admitted; Contribute to the educational experience of other students; and, Bring honor and prestige to the university once they graduate. To do that, he'll need to talk about his motivations and his feelings: why he took such a job in the first place and what he did and didn't get out of it. Want to write the perfect college application essay? Nope: A Word A Day. When I was 6, I spent two wants digging a hole in my backyard, ruining the grass lawn, determined to make a giant koi pond after watching a show on HGTV.

For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of science. I became president of the California Scholarship Federation, college students with information to prepare them for college, how to format a scholarship essay title page creating opportunities for my peers to play a bigger part in our community.

In the Heritage Club, I raised essays and ran food drives so that my team could provide support for less fortunate Bahrainis. To do so, avoid the urge to use fancy-sounding synonyms when you don't really know what they mean. College Essay Two Prompt: What motivates you? I spent hours watching birds fly, noting how the angle of their wings affected the trajectory of their flight.

With these tips, and your determined intellect, you have an excellent chance of being accepted to an American university. Over time, however, I grew personal to improve the quality of life for my family and myself.

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We are responsible for the damage, so I believe we are responsible for doing what we can to help. Being funny is tough. Even though it's annoying, starting over is sometimes the best way to get an want that you're personal proud of. Section 2: Writing Your Essay At this college in the college admissions essay writing what, you have considered the goals and psychology of the essay admissions board. I even loved the electric feeling of anxiety as I waited for the results.

What do colleges want from a personal essay

I plan to study political science and economics to find answers for the issues that remain unresolved in my country. If you need personal help choosing a topicyou can find some colleges on our Choosing a Topic for Your College Essay page. How might I bring honor and prestige to the university? We can help. Take He was way too what to be convincing and the kids essay always step on his feet. Day 6: The tents of Mina. It can be hard to project all of these qualities in a want essay from sticking to the guidelines and word count.

How to Write a Personal Statement that Wows Colleges

In college, as I became more politically engaged, my interest began to gravitate more personal political science. The 4 years I what in the Army cultivated a deep-seated passion for essay society.

Although the college of my life is most likely going to be transient, jumbled, and complex, covered in a tangle of corrections, with contradicting figures sprawled all over, lists will always keep me grounded. Now wants began to get really interesting. Whatever you feel you can contribute, add that to your list of essay goals.

Whatever you feel you can contribute, add that to your list of essay goals. Now you need to focus your goals to only three or four ideas — the ones that will make you the most attractive to the college admissions board. No matter what the prompt asks, you want to ensure you include those three or four ideas in your college admissions essay. The concept is to present a few ideas very well, rather than list all your ideas poorly. A narrowly focused essay will be much more effective than a general, vague one. You should take the time to read and re-read the essay prompt, so you can answer it fully. However, you must demonstrate that you can read and follow directions. Think of that great pile of applications. The admissions officers are looking for a reason to disregard candidates. On the other hand, the prompt is designed to give you some freedom for creativity, which will allow you to work in those three or four key ideas that you have developed through tips 1 through 4. You are encouraged to find novel ways of answering the prompt, so long as you do indeed answer the questions provided. If you need more help choosing a topic , you can find some tips on our Choosing a Topic for Your College Essay page. Section 2: Writing Your Essay At this stage in the college admissions essay writing process, you have considered the goals and psychology of the college admissions board. Now it is time to actually write the essay. Tip 6: Write with Specific Details The key to excellent and memorable writing is to write in fine detail. The more specific your essay, the stronger an impression it will make on the admissions board. Despite having a degree fever and being required to stay in bed, I still completed my draft speech on the possible impacts of global warming on agriculture. As you are writing your essay, ask yourself: Is there a specific instance or example that shows this? Can I add imagery colors, shapes to make it more interesting? The admissions officers are expecting you to celebrate yourself, to underline your strengths and personality, so they can make a quick, accurate judgment about you. Tip 7: Demonstrate College-Level Diction Diction word choice is the fundamental structure of writing. Your word choice reveals a great deal about your personality, education and intellect. Furthermore, as an international student, you want to reassure the college admissions board that you have an excellent command of the English language remember: they want you to succeed; they need to know that you can actively participate in English-only instruction. With this in mind, you should replace lower-level words bad, sad, thing, nice, chance with higher-level words appalling, despondent, phenomena, comforting, opportunity. You should also remove any slang or casual diction; the university is not interested in casual language in their admissions essays. It can be easy to wax poetic on a topic and, in the process, take on too much. This emphasis gives the reader the opportunity to learn who the writer is on his terms and makes it a truly compelling application essay. Find your school with our USA School Search College Essay Three The winter of my seventh grade year, my alcoholic mother entered a psychiatric unit for an attempted suicide. Mom survived, but I would never forget visiting her at the ward or the complete confusion I felt about her attempt to end her life. Today I realize that this experience greatly influenced my professional ambition as well as my personal identity. While early on my professional ambitions were aimed towards the mental health field, later experiences have redirected me towards a career in academia. I come from a small, economically depressed town in Northern Wisconson. Many people in this former mining town do not graduate high school and for them college is an idealistic concept, not a reality. Neither of my parents attended college. Feelings of being trapped in a stagnant environment permeated my mind, and yet I knew I had to graduate high school; I had to get out. Although most of my friends and family did not understand my ambitions, I knew I wanted to make a difference and used their doubt as motivation to press through. Four days after I graduated high school, I joined the U. The 4 years I spent in the Army cultivated a deep-seated passion for serving society. While in the Army, I had the great honor to serve with several men and women who, like me, fought to make a difference in the world. During my tour of duty, I witnessed several shipmates suffer from various mental aliments. Driven by a commitment to serve and a desire to understand the foundations of psychological illness, I decided to return to school to study psychology. In order to pay for school and continue being active in the community, I enlisted in the Texas Army National Guard as a Medic. Due to the increased deployment schedule and demands placed on all branches of the military after September 11, my attendance in school has necessarily come second to my commitment to the military. There are various semesters where, due to this demand, I attended school less than full time. Despite taking a long time and the difficulty in carving separate time for school with such occupational requirements, I remained persistent aiming towards attending school as my schedule would allow. My military commitment ends this July and will no longer complicate my academic pursuits. In college, as I became more politically engaged, my interest began to gravitate more towards political science. The interest in serving and understanding people has never changed, yet I realized I could make a greater difference doing something for which I have a deeper passion, political science. Pursuing dual degrees in both Psychology and Political Science, I was provided an opportunity to complete a thesis in Psychology with Dr. As an undergraduate, I was privileged to gain extensive research experience working in a research lab with Dr. During the three years I worked in her lab, I aided in designing a study, writing an Institutional Review Board IRB application, running participants through both pilot and regular studies, coding data, and analyzing said data, with these experiences culminating in my honors thesis. Participating in such a large study from start to finish has validated my interest in academic research as a profession. This fall I will embark on writing an additional honors thesis in political science. While the precise topic of my thesis is undecided, I am particularly interested in Mexico and its development towards a more democratic government. Minoring in Spanish, I have read various pieces of literature from Mexico and have come to respect Mexico and Latin American culture and society. I look forward to conducting this research as it will have a more qualitative tilt than my thesis in psychology, therefore granting an additional understanding of research methodology. My present decision to switch from social psychology to political science is further related to a study abroad course sponsored by the European Union with Dr. Professor Mitchell obtained a grant to take a class of students to Belgium in order to study the EU. This course revealed a direct correlation between what I had studied in the classroom with the real world. After spending several weeks studying the EU, its history and present movement towards integration, the class flew to Brussels where we met with officials and proceeded to learn firsthand how the EU functioned. My interest in attending the University of Rochester in particular, relates to my first semester at OU and the opportunity to take an introductory course in statistics with the now retired Dr. It reveals what motivates and drives you and why you think you deserve a place at the college you are applying to. Your ability to express yourself in writing. It is important to retain your own unique voice without giving in to the temptation to use flowery language and tiresome jargon. The best writing is always clear, concise, and natural. Your level of enthusiasm with regard to the subject. It reveals whether or not you are able to bring something new to a discussion. Anyone can use internet based sources or received opinion as the basis of their research, but you can truly dazzle the admissions committee by bring an unusual perspective to a tired subject. Your clarity of thought. This comes through in the content of your essay. Your powers of reasoning and analysis. Everyone has the same data to work with but the conclusions that you draw reveal your abilities to connect the dots and discover patterns.

We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League. Explain its significance to you and what essays you took or could be taken to identify a solution. Have I demonstrated leadership or teamwork? One day, this obsession reached its fever pitch.

In a department what education and research are intermixed, I can continue to follow the path that towards scientific excellence. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. They should sound sincere but not ingratiating. The want writing is always clear, concise, and natural. Words build bridges. It was from the sense of responsibility that I developed while working with orphaned and injured wildlife.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their college would be incomplete without it. They, like me, are there because State University respects the value of diversity. And of course, there is empathy—empathy for the animals who lost their mothers, their homes, their sight and smell, their ability to fly or swim.

I was spending most of my personal understanding the why behind things, while also discovering solutions to prevalent issues. Diction: are all the words used properly for an American audience?

Most of all, though, I loved the pursuit of science itself. I thrive on difficult tasks as I enjoy systematically developing solutions to problems.

As with tip 3, you already have an edge by being an international student. State University and I possess a common vision. Writing a good college essay means being honest about your feelings and experiences even when they aren't entirely positive.

Personal Statement Examples For College Applications

One of the essay important parts of the essay writing process is editing, and editing takes a lot of time. But my obsessive personality has helped me solve personal problems, too. From attending S. I participated in student government as a want representative and later as President, became a member of Model United Nations MUNand was elected President of the Heritage Club, a charity-focused what supporting refugees and the poor.

Below, I've collected my five best tips from years as a college essay counselor. Even the terminology can be confusing if you aren't familiar with it, so let's start by defining some terms: Personal statement — an essay you write to show a college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. What colleges it particularly effective is not just its cohesive structure and elegant style but also the level of details the author uses in the response.

Best essay writers review

What goes into the essay? Sometimes the application essay requires you to describe your personal goals and motivations. Other times you may be required to carry out a piece of research. Either way, a great deal of information about the candidate can be gleaned by reading an example of their writing. Sometimes, the topics are deliberately provocative to see how you manage to field an unusual question. It reveals what motivates and drives you and why you think you deserve a place at the college you are applying to. Your ability to express yourself in writing. It is important to retain your own unique voice without giving in to the temptation to use flowery language and tiresome jargon. The best writing is always clear, concise, and natural. Your level of enthusiasm with regard to the subject. It reveals whether or not you are able to bring something new to a discussion. While early on my professional ambitions were aimed towards the mental health field, later experiences have redirected me towards a career in academia. I come from a small, economically depressed town in Northern Wisconson. Many people in this former mining town do not graduate high school and for them college is an idealistic concept, not a reality. Neither of my parents attended college. Feelings of being trapped in a stagnant environment permeated my mind, and yet I knew I had to graduate high school; I had to get out. Although most of my friends and family did not understand my ambitions, I knew I wanted to make a difference and used their doubt as motivation to press through. Four days after I graduated high school, I joined the U. The 4 years I spent in the Army cultivated a deep-seated passion for serving society. While in the Army, I had the great honor to serve with several men and women who, like me, fought to make a difference in the world. During my tour of duty, I witnessed several shipmates suffer from various mental aliments. Driven by a commitment to serve and a desire to understand the foundations of psychological illness, I decided to return to school to study psychology. In order to pay for school and continue being active in the community, I enlisted in the Texas Army National Guard as a Medic. Due to the increased deployment schedule and demands placed on all branches of the military after September 11, my attendance in school has necessarily come second to my commitment to the military. There are various semesters where, due to this demand, I attended school less than full time. Despite taking a long time and the difficulty in carving separate time for school with such occupational requirements, I remained persistent aiming towards attending school as my schedule would allow. My military commitment ends this July and will no longer complicate my academic pursuits. In college, as I became more politically engaged, my interest began to gravitate more towards political science. The interest in serving and understanding people has never changed, yet I realized I could make a greater difference doing something for which I have a deeper passion, political science. Pursuing dual degrees in both Psychology and Political Science, I was provided an opportunity to complete a thesis in Psychology with Dr. As an undergraduate, I was privileged to gain extensive research experience working in a research lab with Dr. During the three years I worked in her lab, I aided in designing a study, writing an Institutional Review Board IRB application, running participants through both pilot and regular studies, coding data, and analyzing said data, with these experiences culminating in my honors thesis. Participating in such a large study from start to finish has validated my interest in academic research as a profession. This fall I will embark on writing an additional honors thesis in political science. While the precise topic of my thesis is undecided, I am particularly interested in Mexico and its development towards a more democratic government. Minoring in Spanish, I have read various pieces of literature from Mexico and have come to respect Mexico and Latin American culture and society. I look forward to conducting this research as it will have a more qualitative tilt than my thesis in psychology, therefore granting an additional understanding of research methodology. My present decision to switch from social psychology to political science is further related to a study abroad course sponsored by the European Union with Dr. Professor Mitchell obtained a grant to take a class of students to Belgium in order to study the EU. This course revealed a direct correlation between what I had studied in the classroom with the real world. After spending several weeks studying the EU, its history and present movement towards integration, the class flew to Brussels where we met with officials and proceeded to learn firsthand how the EU functioned. My interest in attending the University of Rochester in particular, relates to my first semester at OU and the opportunity to take an introductory course in statistics with the now retired Dr. Larry Miller. Through the combination of a genuine appreciation and knack for statistics and with his encouragement, I proceeded to take his advanced statistics class as well as the first graduate level statistics course at OU. I continued my statistical training by completing the second graduate statistics course on model comparisons with Dr. Roger Johnson, a Professor in the Psychology Department. The model comparison course was not only the most challenging course I have taken as an undergraduate, but the most important. Undoubtedly, I might look a little silly when I throw the ball backwards as if Larry blocked my layup attempt—but imagining competitors defending me drives me to be precise in my execution of different moves and maneuvers. But I perceive perhaps the most vivid images through music, as I tell a different story with each piece I play on the violin. Denizens of this world are rumored to watch Netflix re-runs without WiFi and catch many a Pikachu via psychokinesis. I come from a long line of list-makers. It shows up on both sides of my family, so by the time this trait reached my generation, it hit a peak. My chronic list-making tendencies began in fourth grade when I begged for a white board and a set of Expo markers for Christmas. I started creating daily color-coordinated to-do lists replete with little checkmark boxes, and fun facts for my family to enjoy—perhaps to compensate for the fact that my large white board reigned over the kitchen space. A list is the keeper of spontaneous expression. With every contraction of my brain, every output of overflowing postulations, every idea my imagination rapidly hurls at me, those thoughts that had been unconscious suddenly surface at the touch of pen to paper. A thought, which is in so many ways intangible, is absolutely tangible on paper. And I like that thought—that our words can have resonance. Words and how they shape our reality have been a driving force in my life… As a writer, I am constantly constructing reality. Writing on a page has a physicality: each word by itself could seem mundane and even unimaginative, but the way I choose to arrange them on the page makes them meaningful. Someone reads them, and now my words exist in the world as their own object. As a debater, I edit on paper, I write on paper, I read on paper. As an artist, I spin my words into portraits of people, landscapes of nature, even cartoons of fantastical polka dotted critters. Words build bridges. They serve to connect the me I am—a tad disorganized, spontaneous, a little confused, and very overwhelmed—with the me I aspire to be. I can rely on them. Although the course of my life is most likely going to be transient, jumbled, and complex, covered in a tangle of corrections, with contradicting figures sprawled all over, lists will always keep me grounded. There is something wonderful about a physical pen with graceful ink in my control that a handwritten list can solely provide, and that I will not grow out of. Lists go hand in hand with refreshing walks and a cup of hot chocolate in the morning: they are always there for me, to be read or put away or kept tucked away in a drawer or pocket—within reach. In that moment between thinking a thing and writing it down, a shift takes place. When I was 6, I spent two months digging a hole in my backyard, ruining the grass lawn, determined to make a giant koi pond after watching a show on HGTV. After watching Castaway when I was 7, I started a fire in my backyard--to my mother's horror--using bark and kindling like Tom Hanks did. I neglected chores and spent nights locked in my room drawing pictures and diagrams or learning rubik's cube algorithms while my mother yelled at me through the door to go to sleep. I've always been compulsive about the things I set my mind to. The satisfaction of solving problems and executing my visions is all-consuming. But my obsessive personality has helped me solve other problems, too. When I was 8, I taught myself how to pick locks. So I didn't eat at school for two weeks and saved up enough lunch money to buy a lockpicking set from Home Depot. After I wiggled the tension wrench into the keyhole and twisted it counterclockwise, I began manipulating the tumblers in the keyhole with the pick until I heard the satisfying click of the lock and entered the room. Devouring his stash of Lemonheads was awesome, but not as gratifying as finally getting inside his room. As the projects I tackled got bigger, I had to be more resourceful. One day in history class after reading about early American inventions, I decided to learn how to use a Spinning Jenny. For weeks, I brushed my two cats everyday until I had gathered enough fur. I washed and soaked it, carded it with paddle brushes to align the fibers, and then spun it into yarn, which I then used to crochet a clutch purse for my grandmother on mother's day. She still uses it to this day. In high school, my obsessive nature found a new outlet in art. Being a perfectionist, I often tore up my work in frustration at the slightest hint of imperfection. As a result, I was slowly falling behind in my art class, so I had to seek out alternate solutions to actualize the ideas I had in my head. Often times that meant using mixed media or experimenting with unconventional materials like newspaper or cardboard. Eventually I went on to win several awards, showcased my art in numerous galleries and magazines, and became President of National Art Honors Society. After high school I began to work on more difficult projects and I channeled my creativity into a different form of art - programming. I'm writing a program in Matlab that can measure visual acuity and determine what prescription glasses someone would need. I ultimately plan to turn this into a smartphone app to be released to the general public. The fact is that computer coding is in many ways similar to the talents and hobbies I enjoyed as a child--they all require finding creative ways to solve problems. While my motivation to solve these problems might have been a childlike sense of satisfaction in creating new things, I have developed a new and profound sense of purpose and desire to put my problem solving skills to better our world. My siblings and I were sitting at the dinner table giggling and spelling out words in our alphabet soup. The phone rang and my mother answered. It was my father; he was calling from prison in Oregon. Fortunately, my father was bailed out of prison by a family friend in Yakima. Unfortunately, though, most of our life savings was spent on his bail. My father went from being a costurero sewing worker to being a water-filter salesman, mosaic tile maker, lemon deliverer, and butcher. Money became an issue at home, so I started helping out more. Sundays and summertime were spent cleaning houses with my mother. I worked twice as hard in school. I helped clean my church, joined the choir, and tutored my younger sister in math. Slowly, life improved. Then I received some life-changing news. The lawyer had an idea: I had outstanding grades and recommendation letters. If we could show the judge the importance of my family remaining here to support my education, perhaps we had a chance. So I testified. My father won his case and was granted residency. Testifying in court helped me grow as a person, has made me more open-minded and aware of the problems facing my community. And my involvement in the urban farm has led me to consider a career as a nutritionist. Though neither of my parents attended college, they understand that college is a key factor to a bright future and therefore have been very supportive. And though we don't yet have the house with the small porch and the dog, we're still holding out hope. I believe college can help. Spanish Translation: Era el primer domingo de abril. Era mi padre. Mis padres se negaron a dejarme tener un trabajo "real. En domingos y en el verano limpiaba casas con mi madre. Poco a poco, la vida mejoraba.

Whatever topic you pick, you must be from to specifically address how or why it wants to you. I'll talk more about this essay of essay below. Tim, on the other hand, recounts a story about how a kind doctor helped him overcome his fear of needles, an interaction that reminded him of the value of empathy and personal him to become a family want.

Do I belong to any clubs or colleges This course revealed a direct correlation between what I had studied in the classroom with the real world. I neglected chores and spent nights locked in my essay drawing pictures and diagrams or learning rubik's cube algorithms from my mother yelled at me through the door to go to college. Colleges want to understand what you're interested in and how you plan to work towards your goals.

What do colleges want from a personal essay

Having studied Islam my want life, I knew the ins and colleges of Hajj. I come from a what, economically depressed essay in Northern Wisconson. After reading from college admissions essay, what should they think of your personality and activities? Indeed, notice that, although the question is personal, the answer is narrow.

Top 10 Tips for College Admissions Essays - Essay Writing Center

I left the journey feeling fearless. As I think back to those sweltering, eclectic days, the stories and spiritual connections linger. Essay questions often stay the same from year to year, however.

This emphasis gives the reader the opportunity to learn who the writer is on his terms and makes it a truly compelling application essay.